If you have clicked this, thank you for indulging me in my ego stroking. Now you have that image of you stroking something that resembles an ego (I always thought it would look like a tulip, frankly), let me introduce myself.
I am Reclaimed Bitch. Like reclaimed wood. Made from some old tired derrogatory comment, rebuilt and made anew. And so much cooler. I am a recent college graduate with a degree in English (so I spent years and money screwing myself into poverty, enjoying every second of it) who grew tired of sexists comments from tons of men (read:my crotchty old fart father) compartmentalizing, devaluing and dismissing me by simply calling me a bitch. As you can see, I like my big words. Have to use that English degree somehow.
Well, I am a bitch. And I love bitches. Call them uppity women, feminists, dykes, cunts (I LOVE cunt). All the same kind of women. And they are meant to be celebrated and not demeaned. I’m also fat, well aware of it actually. So before you deem to chip away at my self-esteem by calling me a whale or lard butt, why don’t you put your keen observation and critical thinking skills and not pick out the most obvious thing about me to hurt my wittle feelings. I am a fat, white female. Anyone could fucking see that.
Somewhere, this about has turned into an angry, bitter whine fest and for that, I apologize. Still with me? Troopers, all of you.
Final words.
I’m vulgar, rude, brash but also kind, maternal and protective. I value sarcasm, snarkiness and attitude in women and try to live that way. And if you can’t tell that by now, well, someone needs to work on their bitch radar.
I love being a bitch because it shows me I’m doing something right. And any person who enjoys a little heartfelt but brutally honest bitch fest, join me.